Nothing is permanent in this life. So it is perfectly natural for us to take breaks or let ventures run their course and end, but how do we tell what is meant to end and what is deserving of a reboot? There are so many moving parts to any given life and ways that we experience this world. Navigating what we are meant to do and where to channel our energy can be daunting. How do we decide what is right for us and trust ourselves to make the right choice? 

I originally began writing this blog in 2016 when I decided to pack up my life and move to another continent. At the time I was sure of the choice I was making and the path that lay ahead. That confidence and passion was funneled into my writing. When I moved back to the states I wasn’t sure what was next for me and I took a break from writing. A lot has happened in the years since then. As I’ve begun traveling again I’ve thought a lot about what it means to leave something behind and then rediscover it and take the steps to give it new life. 

After the epic journey in the Lord of the Rings ended and the characters were returning home, Tolkien wrote, “How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold.” There will inevitably be journeys for all of us that are life altering; experiences that change our perspective; stages of life that change who we are. So as we move through these aspects of life we must learn how to move forward; we must let go of some of those threads that can’t be mended, but we can weave the ones that stay with us into the next panels of our tapestry. 

For me, I am definitely coping with the idea of an old life and deep hurts that have taken hold. Since my Mom’s death in October 2022, I feel like everything is different, like I must learn how to exist in the world all over again. Just as Tolkien wrote, I am beginning to understand in my heart that there is no going back; life will never again be the way it once was. However, that doesn’t mean that life won’t go on, or that some parts of that old life can’t continue. So as I try to pick up the threads of that old life, and decide which ones to let go and which ones to carry into the next chapter, I’m going to try and write and share.

I am a different person now than I was when I first started writing in 2016, and I have different goals. Learning to live without Mom here is not the only new start for me, I am traveling nomadically rather than living abroad and having a base; I am in a solid relationship and traveling with my partner rather than solo; I’m shifting to more remote work to sustain my nomadic lifestyle. Amidst all these new undertakings and changes, I’m trusting that writing and sharing is a venture meant for me. Writing has always been something that my Mom encouraged me to do and she loved reading what I wrote. It feels right to keep writing as I figure out how to navigate this life without her and what the next steps are for me on my path. So after a long hiatus, I find myself picking up the pieces, the ideas, the rough drafts, and starting again, sharing my experiences while traveling, but also while learning how to reinvent your world and find what is meant to stay a part of your life.